This posting is a little different. This is a story I made up for A. When she was still a baby. I want to record it here hoping she'll find and remember it one day.
It was bedtime. Mommy kissed her, hugged her, and said, "I love you sweetest girl." The little girl asked, "Mommy how much do you love me? "Mommy thought for a moment. Then answered with a smile. "My sweet little angel love, I love you more than there are bugs in the world. More than all the leaves on all of the trees. I love you more than all the drops of water in the oceans. More than all the grains of sand on the beaches. I love you more than we love chocolate (big hugs my little chocoholic). Much more than ice cream. I love you one more than the biggest number there is. More than all the coins in the world. I love you even more than there are stars in the sky. I love you more than the infinity of space."(remember that infinity means never ending). The little girl asked, "Mommy how long will you love me?" Mommy hugged her and said, "my wonderful child, I will love you until, the dog stands up and says hello. Until vegetables taste like chocolate bars. Until the moon falls from the sky. Some day, when you grow up and maybe become a Mommy, even then, I will still love you. I will love you longer than the end of time. No matter what, I will love you, Forever and Always, plus One more Day." That's exactly how much I love you sweetest girl. I miss you little one. I hope you smiled and giggled today! Hugs, Kisses, Mom
December 3, 2011
August 28, 2011
YOU'RE THE BEST!
Overall, you were such a delightful baby and child! Patient, loving, good natured, curious, bright, helpful, kind. Couldn't ask for a better child! It was such a wonderful pleasure and privilege sharing each day with you! My life was so blessed that you were a part of it. I had wished for a daughter ever since I was a little girl. For so long I thought it would never be. Then you came along. You were a gift from God. I was so proud to be your mom. I'm so sorry our time together was cut short. A piece of my heart and soul was taken and can never be replaced. I fought as hard as I could, tried everything to get you back. Only to hit dead ends at every turn. I begged over and over for the chance to say goodbye to you. The bond you and I shared seemed to threaten the people you were given to and I was told "no" again and again
August 13, 2011
Dear Sweet Girl,
My dearest sweet Ahmi girl,
I love you today, as much as I always have, as much as I always will. I hope that each day brings you one more chuckle and a lot less pain. I want you to be happy my sweet girl as you deserve to be. I'm sorry I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to you. You are forever in my thoughts and in my heart. All the times we've shared together are special memory treasures. Like one day at the park. You were sitting in my lap, facing me on the swing. I started swinging. You laughed and said, "higher Mommy, go higher." We went so high! I remember you put your head back, and closed your eyes. You told me to try it. You said, "it will tickle your tummy."How we laughed and laughed together. That was such a special moment because I got to share it with you. I often think about that wonderful day and smile.
Also, remember our 1st visit to Sea World w/ Miss Mary's class. How soaked we were from the rain! I believe we were wet all the way down to our skin! What an adventure that was! How we went home, and after drying off and changing, we had hot Chocolate w/ whipped cream. Then, we had a nap, dry and toasty warm. Although, I was glad the sun was out for our 2nd visit, I think I'll always remember the 1st time as the best day! Someday when I see you again, we will talk about all of those memories. Those memories mean everything to me because they were times I shared with you. I will hold them and you close in my heart until we see each other again. I think about you every day. When you look up at the moon, remember that I'm also looking up at it. Each time I'll be thinking of you, sending you hugs and kisses, and always, always loving you.
Little one, I'm so sorry about all the pain, confusion, anger, and sadness you may be feeling. You don't deserve any of it. I wish I could wipe it all away. I'm sorry for my part in everything that's happened. I need you to know, baby, NOTHING that happened is your fault. I'm so very sorry that you got hurt, for everything you've been through. You didn't do anything wrong. You never, ever could. Sometimes adults make the wrong choices and the people who mean the most unintentionally get hurt. Or they may think they're doing the right thing but, it really isn't the right thing at all. Please don't ever think this was your fault because it never was and never could be. NEVER! All the adults around you made mistakes and the wrong choices. First Daddy and I. Then the Social workers. Never you baby love, never. I'm sorry you got hurt by choices that you had no part of and no voice in.
Be happy my sweet baby love. I want you to be happy special girl as you so totally deserve to be. Remember, I love you more than all the drops of water in the ocean. More than all the grains of sand on the beaches. My love is more than there all the bugs in the world. More than there are leaves on the trees. I love you more than we love chocolate (my little chocoholic). I love you one more than the very highest number. More than there are stars in the sky. More than the infinity(which means, never ending) of space. Forever and always, plus one more day! That's how long I'll love you! You are the most precious little girl I've ever known. Remember what we've always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. That makes you a very special person! I was/am so blessed to have had the chance to know you, to share your life, to love and care for you. Smile today sweetheart.
Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy
I love you today, as much as I always have, as much as I always will. I hope that each day brings you one more chuckle and a lot less pain. I want you to be happy my sweet girl as you deserve to be. I'm sorry I wasn't allowed to say goodbye to you. You are forever in my thoughts and in my heart. All the times we've shared together are special memory treasures. Like one day at the park. You were sitting in my lap, facing me on the swing. I started swinging. You laughed and said, "higher Mommy, go higher." We went so high! I remember you put your head back, and closed your eyes. You told me to try it. You said, "it will tickle your tummy."How we laughed and laughed together. That was such a special moment because I got to share it with you. I often think about that wonderful day and smile.
Also, remember our 1st visit to Sea World w/ Miss Mary's class. How soaked we were from the rain! I believe we were wet all the way down to our skin! What an adventure that was! How we went home, and after drying off and changing, we had hot Chocolate w/ whipped cream. Then, we had a nap, dry and toasty warm. Although, I was glad the sun was out for our 2nd visit, I think I'll always remember the 1st time as the best day! Someday when I see you again, we will talk about all of those memories. Those memories mean everything to me because they were times I shared with you. I will hold them and you close in my heart until we see each other again. I think about you every day. When you look up at the moon, remember that I'm also looking up at it. Each time I'll be thinking of you, sending you hugs and kisses, and always, always loving you.
Little one, I'm so sorry about all the pain, confusion, anger, and sadness you may be feeling. You don't deserve any of it. I wish I could wipe it all away. I'm sorry for my part in everything that's happened. I need you to know, baby, NOTHING that happened is your fault. I'm so very sorry that you got hurt, for everything you've been through. You didn't do anything wrong. You never, ever could. Sometimes adults make the wrong choices and the people who mean the most unintentionally get hurt. Or they may think they're doing the right thing but, it really isn't the right thing at all. Please don't ever think this was your fault because it never was and never could be. NEVER! All the adults around you made mistakes and the wrong choices. First Daddy and I. Then the Social workers. Never you baby love, never. I'm sorry you got hurt by choices that you had no part of and no voice in.
Be happy my sweet baby love. I want you to be happy special girl as you so totally deserve to be. Remember, I love you more than all the drops of water in the ocean. More than all the grains of sand on the beaches. My love is more than there all the bugs in the world. More than there are leaves on the trees. I love you more than we love chocolate (my little chocoholic). I love you one more than the very highest number. More than there are stars in the sky. More than the infinity(which means, never ending) of space. Forever and always, plus one more day! That's how long I'll love you! You are the most precious little girl I've ever known. Remember what we've always told you, you're beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. That makes you a very special person! I was/am so blessed to have had the chance to know you, to share your life, to love and care for you. Smile today sweetheart.
Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy
August 9, 2011
I MISS YOU
I miss you more than words can say, You're in my thoughts night and day. Although right now we are apart, I will hold you always in my heart. You gave us laughter, joy and love Our precious gift sent from above Treasured every day with you I never knew there'd be so few Some days I just sit and cry We weren't allowed to say Goodbye!
FOREVER AND ALWAYS PLUS ONE MORE DAY
Her giggles, love, and happiness
Turned a house into a home.
Her absence leaves an emptiness
The house is silent, all alone.
In the silence, thoughts of her
Soon the tears again will fall
How do you mend a broken heart
Is there any way at all?
Left with only memories
Wrapped in pain that's hard to bear
Was not supposed to end this way
There's so much we'll never share!
I love you sweetest girl!
Forever and Always plus One More Day!
Turned a house into a home.
Her absence leaves an emptiness
The house is silent, all alone.
In the silence, thoughts of her
Soon the tears again will fall
How do you mend a broken heart
Is there any way at all?
Left with only memories
Wrapped in pain that's hard to bear
Was not supposed to end this way
There's so much we'll never share!
I love you sweetest girl!
Forever and Always plus One More Day!
THINKING OF YOU EVERY DAY
I love you more than words can say,
I'm thinking of you every day.
Although right now we are apart,
I hold you close within my heart.
I miss your hugs, your impish grin,
I wish the clock could start again
Wish I could take the hurt and pain
Erase it all from your brain
Wish I could heal your broken heart,
Turn the clock back to the start.
Never doubt my love for you,
No matter what, it's always true.
Do you remember what I used to say?
Forever and Always, plus One more day!
That's how much I love you my baby love.
I think about you all the time.
Please smile and giggle today.
xoxoxo Mommy
I'm thinking of you every day.
Although right now we are apart,
I hold you close within my heart.
I miss your hugs, your impish grin,
I wish the clock could start again
Wish I could take the hurt and pain
Erase it all from your brain
Wish I could heal your broken heart,
Turn the clock back to the start.
Never doubt my love for you,
No matter what, it's always true.
Do you remember what I used to say?
Forever and Always, plus One more day!
That's how much I love you my baby love.
I think about you all the time.
Please smile and giggle today.
xoxoxo Mommy
IN MY HEART
I hold you close within my heart. I love you more than words can say, Although right now, we are apart, I think about you every day. I miss your hugs, your impish grin, I miss spending time with you I wish our time could start again, If only dreams came true!
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